Instead of pointing fingers and blaming parents for their lack of involvement, let us attempt to understand and perhaps normalize the behavior. Let’s begin with this general definition.
The Oxford dictionary definition of parent is (noun) “a person’s father or mother. The Oxford dictionary definition of parent is (verb) “be or act as a parent to (a child). Without further detail about the role of a parent, let’s say the definition is ubiquitous. It is reasonable to include teachers, or for that matter, anyone in any profession who has a child(ren) shall fall under that definition.
Aside from our chosen field or profession, we can agree that teachers and parents share the same or similar experiences related to the Oxford dictionary definition of the word (parent). Thus we share a lot in common. (All) parents are expected and encouraged to engage with their child(ren) teacher. When this does not happen, parents are not faced with any grave consequences. Parents don’t receive rewards for engaging with their child(ren) teacher or any positive incentive for continued involvement.
Perhaps this is due to a less defined role parents are assigned by teachers or by the broader social role that suggests a school is a place where teachers teach our children and less of a place for parents to be involved. As a result, kindergarten, elementary and middle school can be a strange place for many of us, with dozens of small children laughing and running around and teachers enacting supreme control as they demand order and appropriate student behavior.
For many of us, those early childhood school experiences seem like decades-long memories. Our role as parents have been to ensure our child(ren) arrived at school on time, didn’t get into too much trouble, and produced passing grades. It gave us a feeling that we were doing our part, and as a result, this made us feel good. I believe it has been difficult for teachers to fully described what it means for parents to be engaged in school and for teachers to define what they need from parents that will contribute to student academic success. (This was certainly my experience)
I believe there needs to be mutual benefit gained from parent and teacher involvement, and that begins with engagement being defined by the school and by the teacher, consistent with the unique needs of the student. The question should be, “how do I, as a teacher, achieve my learning objectives as a result of constant parent meetings and contact.” Through email, text messages, and phone calls, both within and outside the school.
Shifting our thoughts away from the lack of parent involvement and focusing our efforts on how parents can partner with teachers to achieve learning objectives is a start. This blog is about solutions, so I will describe how Togetr4Success model works to assist teachers with better defining what parent involvement should look like and how parents can help achieve learning outcomes. You will find, throughout this blog homepage, activities that are fun and easy to facilitate. The activities require minimal supplies (Plastic cups, tissue boxes, ping pong balls, straws, M&M candies, 3×5 cards). Your purpose as a teacher is to take full advantage of the time and presence of parents and gradually define, through fun activities, how parents can engage with you and even win prizes (the experience is novel and different). Teachers and school administrators must keep in mind that you are changing existing social norms regarding parent and teacher interaction, replacing and shaping the relationship with new experiences. An experience that reduces barriers and one that any parent or person can relate to.
Remember, we parents can think of 101 valid reasons why we would rather be doing other fun or even mundane things when we return home from work instead of meeting with teachers. Starting by eliminating barriers by inviting parents to attend from 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm and asking them to attend once per week can entice the most stubborn parent. After all, we find time during the day and on weekends for doctor and dental appointments. And for parents where real-life realities that make it difficult to attend due to childcare and transportation, schools must find a way to accommodate these parents with at-school childcare and free of reduced price rideshare.
Once these barriers have been eliminated, parents will want to come, and you will have created a forum in which to structure the relationship, share information about learning objectives and daily lesson plans, and, most important, for teachers to listen to and learn about how that student interacts with its parents, siblings, and peers. The guiding principle should be to create opportunities through Togetr4Success model and for parents to stay engaged with you. It will help normalize parent behavior and align our views instead of finding blame.
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